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Showing posts from December, 2015
Is Windows a Virus? No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. 2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. 3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too. 4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too. 5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug.

College life is like

College life is like Reliance !!  " Karlo Duniya Mutthi Mein"  Bachelor Life is Like Airtel!!  " Aisi Azadi aur Kahan"  After Engagement is Like Idea!!  " Jo Badal de aapki Zindgi"  After Marrige is like Hutch!!  " Where U go.. network Follows"  After Kid is like BSNL!!  " All lines are Buzy"  so frnds enjoy each moments

If in examination hall

If in examination hall  during d exam  u feel tht d paper is tough,  dont worry.  Just close ur eyes,  take a deep breath  n say 2 urself  “This is a very interesting subject.  I want to study it one more time”

The most stupid questions

People usuly ask in d most obvious situation n ansrz you cn probably give: 1-At movies: Hey ! Wat r u doin here? Ans:Don't know?? I sell tickets in black ovr here.. 2-In Bus:A heavy lady wearing pointd high heeld shoes on ur feet:Sorry did that hrt u?? Ans:No,not at all !! I'm on local anaesthesia.. why dont u try again? 3-when u get woken up at midnight by a phone call:Sorry!were u slepin?? Ans:No! I ws doin reserch on weather zulu tribes in africa marry or not...u thot i was slepin??you dumb witted moron..!! 4-when u c frnd with evedently shorter hair: Hey Hav u had a haircut? Ans:Naaah !! Its automn n m shedin...!!!

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said You got Male!

A guy had 2 choose a wife frm 3 grls. He gave each

A guy had 2 choose a wife frm 3 grls. He gave each sum money 2 tst em. 1st gt a makover to luk gud. Da man got imprssd. 2nd bought clths 4 da guy n tld him it's he who is prime for her. He lykd her also. 3rd invsted da money n made profit n gave it back. The guy liked her too. And finally when the time came to choose--- The guy simply chose the girl with The biggest boobs. Men will always be MEN!!

Height Of Confidence

Many Professors Were Once Called. They Were Asked To Sit In An Aeroplane. After they sat they were told that these planes were made by their Students... They all hurried out of the Plane.. But Only One didn't Move... He said..... "If it is made by the students..This wont even Start "...

Do u know what is the Real meaning of HELLO

Storming msg: When You lift the phone You say HELLO.. Do u know what is the Real meaning of HELLO? It is the name of a girl..! Yes!! And Do u knw who is dat girl? Margaret hello.. She is girlfriend of Grahmbell who invented telephone. One can forget the name of Grahmbell but not his girlfriend! Thats LOVE.

Who Says Maths Is Boring

Math Tells Us Three Of The Tragic Love Stories. Tangent Lines, Who Had One Chance To Meet And Then Parted Forever.. Parallel Lines, Who Were Never Meant To Meet.. And Asymptotes Who, Can Get Closer And Closer But Will Never Be Together.. Who Says Maths Is Boring?!? ;-)

M Born brilliant but FORCED to STUDY

This story is all about wen i ws in 2nd std. I was caught talking in class and My Teacher asked me 2 write "I Wont talk In Class" 50 times on d board, I wrote . . . . . . . . . for(i=1;i<=50;i++) printf("I Wont talk In Class\n"); M Born brilliant but FORCED to STUDY..;-(

What is Over acting

Once Einstein was reading in class. A scorpion bit his toe but he read with concentration. When the teacher asked him, he said that the scorpion had bit him on his toe, Not on his mind, so he didn't Lose concentration. . . . . . Dear friends, this is what we call..Over acting ..!! :->:-P!. Please don't try dis;-)

The most stupid ques ppl usually ask in obvious situations

. 1. At movies : hey! Wat r u doin here?? Ans : Dont u know??? I sell tickets in black over hre 2. In bus:A heavy lady wearin pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet:sorry did that hurt? Ans:No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again? 3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl? Ans: why? Would it rather have been you?? 4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : sorry! Were you sleepin? Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleepin? You dumb witted moron 5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : hey! Have you had a haircut? Ans: nah! Its autumn n m sheddin !!

Wife says 2 husband

Wife says 2 husband: W:Come help with the garden. Husband:What do u think I am?a gardener? W:Come fix the toilet faucet. H:What do u think I am?a plumber? W:Come fix the door handle. H:What do u think I am?a carpenter? The husband went out....but when he came back,he saw that everything is fixed...the garden...toilet faucet...& the door handle. He asked his wife who had done it? The wife said its the neighbour's son,but he gave me 2 options... Either to make him a hamburger or have sex with him... Husband:I'm sure,u gave him a hamburger!! Wife:What do u think I am??

This Is Very Cute...

In A School Function, An L.K.G. Boy Started Closing His Ears With Both Hands When A Girl Was About To Start Her Speech... Others Asked Him Why Are You Closing Your Ears? He Replied:Dude,She Is My GF.. 'n She Is Gonna Start Her Speech With "My Dear,Brothers 'n Sisters"..! :)

In a Bar, a man attended a phone-call:

In a Bar, a man attended a phone-call:  Hello! Yes Honey. Wife: Darling, I'am in a shopping mall. Shall I buy Jewellery worth Rs. 1 LAKH? Man: Sure Honey. Wife: 1 Silk-Saree worth Rs. 20000 dear, shall I? Man: One saree not enough honey, take 1 more. Wife: Ok dear, I have your credit-card. Shall I use now? Man: Sure, with pleasure. All friends asked him after he put down his mobile: U love ur wife dis much? Man: "EXCUSE ME, WHO's MOBILE IS THIS"?.

Today, Life has Became

Today, Life has Became So 'LESS' now, Our Telephone:Cord LESS Cooking:Fire LESS Food:Fat LESS Dress:Back LESS Youth:Job LESS Leaders:Shame LESS Government:Hope LESS Job:Thank LESS Police:Clue LESS Policies:Aim LESS Labor:Effort LESS Conduct:Worth LESS Relations:Meaning LESS Attitude:Care LESS Feelings:Heart LESS Education:Value LESS Arguments:Base LESS Future:Direction LESS 'n Still Our Expectations Are:END LESS.. !

7 Facts : -

7 Facts : - 1. Your eye is the only part you can not wash with soap. 2. You cannot count your hair. 3. Your tongue can not reach all your Teeth. 4. The stupid ones will try the 3rd part. 5. You will smile because your tongue can indeed reach all your Teeth.:p  6. You will laugh because you feel like a Fool :p 7. You will forward this because you had fun 'n you want Revenge.. ! :D

Why do CROW is BLACK in color? Ans.

Why do CROW is BLACK in color? Ans. Crow says COW(Kaow kaow) COW gives MILK MILK Is WHITE WHITE is very BRIGHT BRIGHTNESS gives the future of STUDNTS STUDNTS are the Leaders of TOMORROW TOMORROW Never Comes Before TODAY TODAY I should go to COLLEGE COLLEGE is the home of KNOWLEDGE KNOWLDGE has nothing to do with BUFFALOWS But CROWs sit on BUFFALOWS BUFFALOWs are BLACK So... color of CROW is BLACK.. ! :p :D Some other day i'll tell you why SKY is BLUE... :-D

A few things american movies taught us:-

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teach or practice kung fu. . 2. More than 50% of the US population are FBI/CIA agents, maybe working undercover. . 3. If a man has survived a mishap with a lady, then he is entitled to a kiss, no matter if he met the lady only that day. . 4. The purpose of school system in USA is to promote basketball. . 5. Aliens have a special interest in attacking US