A woman was reading a newspaper when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it and saw a homeless guy standing there.

A woman was reading a newspaper when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it and saw a homeless guy standing there.
He asked if he could spend a night or two there, and the woman said he could, as long as he didn't mess anything up.

That night, the hobo looked around for something he could use as a blanket, and then he saw a clothesline outside the barn. He pulled a skirt off the clothesline and was about to head inside the barn when the woman ran outside.

"Don't take my skirt in the barn!" she yelled.
The hobo muttered an apology and put the skirt back.

He was trying to fall asleep but a donkey kept wandering into the barn and bothering him. He wanted it to go away so he slapped the donkey.

The woman ran back outside. "Don't slap my poor donkey! And don't do anything else like this either!"

He apologized and tried to go to sleep after that.

Then a cat walked into the barn and tried to curl up on his lap. It was a sweet cat, but he was allergic to cat fur, so he shaved the cat.

Before he knew it, the woman was outside again. "Okay. If you do anything else like that I'm calling the police!"

He apologized again and tried to fall asleep. But he couldn't because a couple owls kept making noise. He tried to ignore it but could not, so he went outside, grabbed both of the owls, and squeezed them. The owls were surprised and quickly flew away.

The woman ran outside again. "Okay, that's it. You're leaving!"

She grabbed her phone and dialed 911. "911! Please help! A hobo pulled my skirt down, slapped my ass, shaved my pussy, and squeezed my hooters!"