NEW MOBILE SMS COLLECTION

"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits," he says. "You dirty bastard!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband." The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off." She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!" Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it again. "One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now, what do you want?" "I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off and fill your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup." The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the TV. "What's up love?" he asks. "There'...

One day, the teacher called on her while she was taking a nap. "April, who created the universe?" When she didn't stir, Little Johnny, who sat behind her, jabbed her in the rear with a pin. "Oh God!!" she yelled. "Correct, April!" said the teacher. Later, the teacher called on her again. "Now, April, who is our Lord and Savior?" She was asleep still, so once again Little Johnny jabbed her in the rear with a pin. She immediately sat up and shouted, "Jesus Christ!!" "That's correct, April." Near the end of the class, the teacher asked her: "April, what did Eve say to Adam after she gave birth to their 23rd child?" Again, she had nodded off, so Johnny poked her with the pin once more. April jumped in the air and yelled, "If you stick that fucking thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!!!" The teacher fainted