NEW MOBILE SMS COLLECTION

A man's wife was dying. He was sitting by her bedside and holding her hand, and then in a tired voice she said, "There's something I must confess before I die." "No, there's nothing to confess," the husband murmured. "Please. I need to tell you . . . I had sex with your best friend and your brother and then your brother's best friend and your father." "I know, honey," the husband said. "That's why I poisoned you. Now just shut your eyes already!"

He went to the bakery first. He went up to the baker and said, "Can I have a bum?" "You mean a bun?" the baker asked. "Yes, a bum." The boy took the bun and left. He went to the hardware store next. He went up to the salesperson and said, "Can I have a fuckit?" "You mean a bucket?" the salesperson asked. "Yes, a fuckit." The boy took the bucket and left. Then he went to the pet store. He went up to the pet store owner and said, "Can I have a cockinspankit?" "You mean a cocker spaniel?" the pet store owner asked. "Yes, a cockinspankit." He took the cocker spaniel and left. But then his cocker spaniel ran away. The boy went up to a policeman and said, "Please, sir, can you hold my bum and fuckit so I can grab my cockinspankit?"